xymnovel Chapter 129 Wasabi Dumplings, a Prank on Cheng Yaojin!
Chapter 129 Wasabi Dumplings, a Prank on Cheng Yaojin!
Chapter 129 Wasabi Dumplings, a Prank on Cheng Yaojin!
He rubbed his messy hair, put on his cotton-padded coat, and pushed open the door. There stood a towering, dark-skinned man in the yard.
Duke Lu, Cheng Yaojin.
Su Mu sighed, leaned against the door frame, and yawned: "No offense, Duke Lu, the imperial kitchen hasn't started cooking yet. If you want to eat, go to the Imperial Kitchen at the front. This is the woodshed."
"Woodshed? Bah!"
Cheng Yaojin strode over, his thick-soled official boots crunching on the snow. "That old Taoist priest Wei Zheng said you have some magic soup here that can glue ears shut! Hurry up and get it for me, Cheng!"
He didn't consider himself an outsider. He sniffed twice, smelled the lingering aroma of dumplings in the room, his eyes lit up, and he reached out to push Su Mu aside before slipping into the room.
Su Mu almost lost his balance when he was pulled like that.
This troublemaker truly lives up to his reputation; he's willing to throw away all his dignity for a meager meal.
There was still half a basin of cold dumplings left over from last night on the kang (a heated brick bed) inside the room.
Upon seeing this, Cheng Yaojin slammed the wine jar in his hand onto the ground with a dull thud. Not caring that it was cold, he reached out, grabbed one, and stuffed it into his mouth.
"It's a bit cold, but the taste—mmm! Delicious!!"
Cheng Yaojin chewed loudly, devouring half of the half-basin of cold dumplings in a few bites. He wiped the oil from his mouth, turned and glared at Su Mu: "Kid, is this all you're going to do to a beggar?
L
Is it still hot?
And that wine! His Majesty went back last night and spent the whole morning bragging about it, saying that after drinking it, he felt like his whole body was on fire. I want to try it too!
Su Mu raised an eyebrow as he looked at the mess on the ground.
Want to dine and dash?
Luckily, I had prepared some special dumplings yesterday, intending to play a prank on them.
This little guinea pig delivered to our doorstep is definitely worth it!
He turned and walked to the stove, uncovering another bamboo tray covered with a white cloth.
Inside lay a dozen or so dumplings, larger than usual, with extremely thin wrappers that faintly revealed an eerie emerald green hue.
"These were just wrapped and are ready to be cooked."
Su Mu said calmly, adding a ladle of water to the pot. "Since General Cheng is in such a hurry to eat, then these will do."
"What kind of filling is this green stuff?"
Cheng Yaojin leaned closer, his thick fingers almost poking into the dumpling skin.
"Jadeite and White Jade Dumplings"
Su Mu remained unfazed. "This was specially reserved for distinguished guests. I don't make it for just anyone. The filling is precious. It's made from a rare herb from the Western Regions called wasabi, which is excellent for refreshing the mind and clearing the senses."
Upon hearing this, Cheng Yaojin's mind cleared, and he grinned, revealing a set of white teeth: "Alright! I, Old Cheng, love rare things! Cook it quickly! If it's overcooked, I'll tear down your stove!"
Once the water boils, add the ingredients to the pot.
These dumplings were tumbling in the boiling water. Su Mu took a strainer and deliberately cooked them a little longer, allowing the spiciness of the wasabi to simmer and ferment in the dough until it reached its peak!
In addition to wasabi, he also added some chopped chili peppers as a double precaution.
"alright."
A large bowl of steaming hot jade dumplings was served on the kang table.
Cheng Yaojin had been waiting impatiently for a long time. He plopped down on the edge of the kang (a heated brick bed), making the kang shake three times. He didn't use chopsticks; he just reached in and grabbed the plumpest one.
"It doesn't look like much, but I want to see how invigorating it really is."
After saying that, he opened his blood-red mouth wide and threw the whole dumpling into his mouth without even chewing it, clenching his teeth forcefully.
Pfft!
For a moment, time seemed to stand still.
Su Mu leaned against the stove, arms crossed, counting with great interest.
one two three.
Cheng Yaojin, who was still chewing, suddenly stopped.
Those big, copper bell-shaped eyes widened to their limit in an instant, and blood vessels quickly filled the whites of their eyes!
His dark red face first turned a liver color, then turned blue, and finally even faintly revealed a purplish-brown hue.
An indescribable, pungent gust of air, carrying a destructive aura, rushed from his nostrils straight to the top of his head!
That wasn't just ordinary spiciness; it felt like someone had hit the inside of your head with a sledgehammer and then poured a spoonful of molten iron up your nose.
"Ugh—!!!"
Cheng Yaojin let out a strange, distorted cry.
He felt like vomiting, but the dumpling had already slid down his throat; he tried to swallow, but the air was trapped in his throat!
"What...what is this...cough cough cough!"
Two lines of clear tears shot out of the eyes of this battle-hardened general without warning.
Then came the snot, which just wouldn't stop flowing!
Cheng Yaojin suddenly jumped up, covered his neck with both hands, and spun around in the room, his official boots kicking up coal dust that flew everywhere.
"Poison! It's poisonous! Water! Give me water!"
He howled as he reached for the teapot on the table.
That was boiling water.
"Don't drink that, it'll burn you."
Su Mu slowly took out a long-necked white porcelain bottle from the cabinet and uncorked it.
A strong, pure aroma of liquor, sharp as a knife, instantly exploded in the room filled with the smell of wasabi.
He used that simple still to purify the turbid rice wine in the palace three times, leaving the core of the wine after removing the beginning and end. The alcohol content was at least 60 degrees or higher.
"The antidote is here."
Su Mu poured a bowl and handed it over.
Cheng Yaojin was already delirious from the mustard, his head felt like it was about to be blown off. Without even looking, he snatched the rough porcelain bowl and gulped it down.
Gudong!
Strong liquor down the throat.
Normally, a 60-degree liquor would burn your throat.
But now, Cheng Yaojin's mouth and esophagus have been completely numbed by the wasabi. The strong liquor, instead of being a strong remedy, is like a bone-scraping steel knife, scraping away the sticky spiciness.
Immediately afterwards, a burst of fire exploded in my stomach.
heat.
The heat is insane!
The heat instantly traveled through my limbs and bones, evaporating all the cold sweat that had been forced out by the wasabi.
Cheng Yaojin remained frozen in the tilted-head position for a full five breaths.
Then, he slammed the bowl down on the table with such force that it shattered into pieces.
"happy!!!"
This roar was even louder than the one before, carrying the cathartic release of someone who had escaped death.
Cheng Yaojin's face was flushed, and tears and snot still clung to his beard, but his eyes shone with an alarming brightness.
He wiped his face, ignoring the wasabi still lingering in his nostrils, and stared at the porcelain bottle in Su Mu's hand as if he were staring at an unparalleled beauty.
"This...this is the wine you brewed?"
Cheng Yaojin, slurring his words, leaped in front of Su Mu. The effects of the alcohol hit him incredibly fast, and he was already a little unsteady on his feet. "This is real wine! Those weak stuff in the palace, like bird pee, aren't even worthy of carrying this!"
Su Mu took a step back, avoiding the strong smell of sweat and alcohol emanating from the burly man.
"Want more?"
"Yes! Fill it up! Fill it all up!"
Cheng Yaojin snatched the porcelain bottle, and without even pouring it into the bowl, he took a big gulp straight from the bottle opening.
For the people of the Tang Dynasty, who were used to drinking low-alcohol fermented wines, this kind of high-proof liquor was like a sleeping potion.
After two bites, Cheng Yaojin's eyes began to glaze over, and his body swayed unsteadily, like a crumbling wall in the wind.