My Imperial Advisor is ChatGPT

Chapter 36 The Emperor of Rope Skipping and the Thunder that Opens the Mountain

In late summer in Xianyang, the heatwave still raged on the bluestone slabs, but a hint of coolness had crept into the morning and evening breezes. The cicadas' calls were no longer as heart-wrenching as in the height of summer; instead, they carried a mournful, death-defying cry.

The atmosphere inside the "Royal Rehabilitation Center" of the Epang Palace was heavy and eerie.

There were no assassins, nor any urgent military reports. Only the First Emperor of the Qin Dynasty, Ying Zheng, was hopping around on a specially made cushion, looking utterly miserable.

That's right, bouncing around.

Ying Zheng clenched his fists, stood with his feet together and knees slightly bent, and performed a rhythmic vertical jump. With each landing, his brows furrowed and he let out a muffled groan, as if he were engaged in a life-or-death struggle with an unseen enemy.

"Your Majesty, higher! The rhythm can't be off!" Hu Hai, holding an hourglass, squatted beside him shouting, "Teacher G said this is called the 'vibration stone removal method.' You have to shake that stone still in your kidney down!"

Ying Zheng gritted his teeth, cold sweat trickling down his temples.

Since switching to tap water, although he no longer had diarrhea, the long-term effects of drinking hard water and his recent excessive calcium supplementation finally surfaced. Last night, Ying Zheng suddenly felt a sharp pain in his lower back, like being stabbed with an awl, and almost thought he was going to die.

After an emergency scan, Xiao G was diagnosed with kidney stones. And it was the kind of stone that was just lodged at the ureteral opening—not too big, not too small, the most troublesome kind.

In this era before ultrasonic lithotripsy, the only "conservative treatment plan" that Little G offered was: drink more water and jump rope more.

"Huff... Huff..." Ying Zheng finally couldn't jump anymore. He leaned on Zhao Gao's outstretched arm and slumped onto the soft couch.

"This stone... is harder to conquer than the six kingdoms." Ying Zheng clutched his lower back, panting. "It took me ten years to pacify the world. Do you expect me to take another ten years to deal with this little stone?"

Zhao Gao quickly handed over a large cup of warm moneywort water—this was a prescription for expelling stones that Xia Wuqie had found by searching through medical books.

"Your Majesty's health is precious. This stone must have been intimidated by Your Majesty's imperial might and dared not act rashly. Sooner or later it will... uh, expel itself." Zhao Gao carefully flattered him.

Ying Zheng drank the medicine in one gulp, wincing from the bitterness.

"Enough with the nonsense. How's the matter I asked you to handle?"

Zhao Gao immediately dropped his fawning smile, put on a bitter and resentful expression, and pulled out a report from his pocket that was covered in dirt and smelled of gunpowder.

"Your Majesty, it's difficult. Extremely difficult."

"This is an urgent report from Lord Shi Lu, who is in charge of digging the Ling Canal, at the front line in Lingnan."

Ying Zheng took the report, unfolded it, and his brows furrowed even more.

The Lingqu Canal was a crucial water conservancy project connecting the Xiangjiang and Lijiang Rivers. Once this 30-kilometer waterway was opened, the Qin Dynasty's warships could travel directly from the Yangtze River to the Pearl River system, continuously delivering hundreds of thousands of shi (a unit of dry measure) of grain to Han Xin and Liu Bang at the front lines.

However, the project stalled.

At the watershed between the two rivers, there is a five-mile-long stretch of hard rock.

In his letter, Shi Lu lamented, "Your Majesty, the stones there are harder than iron. The craftsmen use hammers to break them, heat them with fire, and then pour water on them, yet they can only advance a few feet a day. At this rate, the Ling Canal will take fifty years to complete! By then, the soldiers on the front lines will probably be turned into savages!"

Ying Zheng slammed the report onto the table.

"Fifty years? I can't wait five years!"

"Stone is hard? Can it be harder than my will?"

He looked at the light screen in his mind.

"Little G. I don't want to jump rope anymore, I want to fry something."

"That 'gunpowder' you mentioned before, besides making firecrackers for Hu Hai to hear, could it also be used to blast mountains?"

[Your Majesty, gunpowder is indeed a powerful tool for clearing mountains.]

However, your current gunpowder formula is the "primitive version," which burns slowly, produces little thrust, and is extremely unstable. Even a slight bump during transport could send the people carrying it flying.

To blast through granite, you need an upgraded technology.

[Project Name: Black Powder Granulation]

"Granulation?"

Yes. Grind sulfur, charcoal, and saltpeter into a very fine powder, then add alcohol and water to form a dough. Press the dough through a sieve to form small grains the size of millet seeds, and finally dry it.

[Gunpowder treated in this way will burn ten times faster, and its explosive power will increase exponentially.]

This is what real "engineering explosives" are.

As Ying Zheng listened, the pain in his waist seemed to lessen somewhat.

He turned to look at Zhao Gao, his eyes carrying a dangerous hint of encouragement.

"Zhao Gao, has your chemistry institute been too idle lately? Are you just boiling soap and steaming buns all day?"

Zhao Gao shuddered: "Your Majesty, I haven't been idle! I've been researching how to make sugar pills from that 'artemisia juice'..."

"Let's put that aside for now." Ying Zheng pointed south. "Shi Lu is gnawing on a rock over there. Go and bring him some 'hard food'."

"I command you to produce a batch of 'Thor's Wrath' within seven days, according to the 'granulation' formula given by Little G, capable of blasting mountains apart."

"I can't make one..." Ying Zheng pointed to his lower back. "I'll give you this kidney stone and make you swallow it."

Zhao Gao's face turned green instantly.

……

An abandoned quarry in the western suburbs of Xianyang.

This area has been designated a military restricted zone; not even a bird is allowed to fly in within a five-mile radius.

Zhao Gao, dressed in a heavy protective suit (several layers of waterlogged cotton quilts) and wearing those ridiculous windproof goggles, stood trembling in front of a huge limestone wall.

Behind him was a group of equally armed Mohist artisans. They held several pottery jars in their hands, which contained the newly developed "particle gunpowder".

Unlike the grayish powder of the past, this time the gunpowder consisted of small, shiny black granules that emitted a suffocating smell of alcohol and sulfur.

"Lord Zhao, are you sure you want to order this?" A young craftsman from the Mo family asked, his hand trembling slightly. "This thing is incredibly powerful. Last time we tested it, it blew a huge iron pot into the sky, and it took it a while to fall back down."

"Nonsense! Do you expect me to swallow stones if I don't do it?" Zhao Gao gritted his teeth. "Follow the blueprints! Drill holes! Fill with the medicine! Insert the fuse! Seal with mud!"

The craftsmen carved a deep hole in the rock wall, carefully filled it with the black particles, then inserted a long thread made of oil-soaked hemp rope, and finally sealed the hole with yellow mud.

"Retreat! Everyone retreat! Retreat to at least half a mile away!"

As Zhao Gao shouted, he led the way in a frantic run. His speed was unlike that of a pampered magistrate of the Imperial Carriage Office; it was more like that of a startled rabbit.

The group hid behind a boulder, only their terrified yet expectant eyes peeking out.

In the distance, a suicide soldier holding a torch lit the fuse, then turned and ran.

sizzle-

The sparks from the burning fuse leaped on the rock face, like a winding fire serpent burrowing into the heart of the mountain.

One breath, two breaths, three breaths.

Just as Zhao Gao thought the fire had gone silent and was about to peek out to check,

"BOOM—!!!"

A deafening roar shook the heavens and the earth, as if Thor himself were beating his war drums in their ears.

The earth trembled violently, and Zhao Gao felt as if he had been slammed to the ground by an invisible hand. His ears were ringing, and he could hear nothing.

Suddenly, the distant rock wall expanded and then exploded. Countless fragments of rock, accompanied by dust and smoke, shot into the sky, blotting out the sun. A boulder the size of a millstone even flew to their hiding place, crashing into the ground less than three feet from Zhao Gao and creating a large crater.

After a long while, the smoke and dust dissipated.

Zhao Gao got up from the ground, spat out a mouthful of mud and sand, and looked up.

The once intact rock face had been blasted open, leaving a huge gap and countless rubble scattered on the ground—enough to cut through the rock in a month’s work by hundreds of laborers.

"My goodness..." Zhao Gao touched his still wildly beating heart, his face showing the ecstatic joy of surviving a disaster.

"Done! This time I don't need to swallow stones!"

……

News of the successful development of "Thor's Wrath" quickly spread to the south.

Lingqu Canal construction site in Xing'an, Guangxi.

Shi Lu looked at the mountain range that stretched across his face in despair. The stone here was called "limestone," which was extremely hard. Moreover, due to days of torrential rain, the construction site was muddy and the morale of the laborers was extremely low due to exhaustion and illness.

"Sir, let's retreat," the adjutant advised. "This mountain cannot be carved out. It's the will of Heaven."

Shi Lu, his eyes red, clutched a dull chisel in his hand: "Withdraw? His Majesty has even halted half of the palaces in Xianyang because of this canal. If I withdraw, what will the hundreds of thousands of Qin soldiers eat? Will they starve?"

"Keep chiseling! Even if you have to gnaw with your teeth, make sure you get a crack!"

Just then, a group of Qin soldiers in black armor escorted several heavily sealed carts into the construction site.

The leading captain jumped off the vehicle, holding a handwritten letter from Zhao Gao and several jars of black granules.

"Lord Shiro! His Majesty has sent 'Thor'!"

Half an hour later.

When the first explosion echoed through the mountains, and when the seemingly indestructible rocks were reduced to dust by the power of the gunpowder, all the laborers on the construction site knelt down.

They thought it was a god descending to earth, or that the Dragon King had become angry.

Shi Lu stood amidst the smoke and fire, looking at the gaping hole that had been blown open, tears streaming down his face.

"This is not a god." Shi Lu stroked the still-steaming pebbles. "This is the Qin Dynasty's method of investigating things! This is the power of man!"

"Quickly! Clear away the rubble! Keep drilling! Blast our way through!"

With explosions echoing one after another, the excavation speed of the Lingqu Canal increased a hundredfold. The project, originally expected to take fifty years, is now within reach thanks to the use of "engineering explosives."

……

Meanwhile, in Xianyang, Ying Zheng, having solved the problem of explosives, was now facing a new dilemma.

"Cement crisis".

With the frenzied expansion of the "Daqin Infrastructure Group" and the nobles starting to follow suit by building cement houses and paving cement roads, Daqin's cement production was severely insufficient.

When supply falls short of demand, it's natural for some people to resort to dishonest means.

In Xishi, a shop with a sign that reads "Authentic Royal Cement" was surrounded by people who came to protest.

"Give me my money back! This is a scam!" A portly merchant roared angrily, holding a piece of cement that crumbled with a single pry. "I bought this cement to repair my pigsty, and the wall collapsed as soon as the pigs nudged it! It almost killed my breeding boar!"

"Me too! The cement cracked before it even dried, and it's full of mud inside!"

The shop owner was hiding behind the counter, trembling with fear.

He used to sell lime, but seeing how profitable cement was, he secretly mixed large amounts of loess and furnace ash into his lime, passing it off as cement and selling it at a high price. Anyway, once it dries, they all look the same; who knows what's inside?

"Stop arguing! This...this is because you added too much water! Or you didn't maintain it properly!" the boss still insisted.

"Bullshit! I added water according to the instructions!"

Just as the angry crowd was about to smash the shop, a group of people dressed in black uniforms and wearing red armbands squeezed in.

The leader was none other than Liu Bang, the "magistrate of Xianyang" and "director of the Qin Dynasty's Bureau of Industry and Commerce." Although he was in the south at the time, he left behind his capable general Xiao He to oversee things, and this team was already operating smoothly.

The leader of this team was a capable official promoted by Xiao He, named Cao Can.

"Get out of the way! This is the Industry and Commerce Bureau enforcing the law!"

Cao Can walked to the counter with a cold face, and without saying a word, took out a small hammer and a copy of "The Standard Manual of Building Materials of the Great Qin Dynasty".

"Genuine cement? Then let's test it according to the standards."

Cao Shen picked up a cement brick from the shop, placed it on the ground, and started swinging a hammer.

"Snapped!"

The bricks crumbled into powder.

"The strength is not up to standard." Cao Can made a note in his notebook.

He grabbed a handful of raw material powder, smelled it, and found it had the earthy smell of soil, not the alkaline smell unique to cement.

"The ingredients are falsified. The soil content exceeds 50%."

Cao Can closed the notebook and stared at the boss.

According to Article 1 of the Qin Dynasty Quality Law: Those who produce and sell counterfeit or substandard products and harm the people shall have all their property confiscated, and the ringleaders shall be sent to a mine for three years of labor reform.

"Guards! Seal off the shop! Arrest him! Take all this fake cement away and pave it in front of his house, so he has to step on this mud every day to reflect on his actions!"

The people cheered.

"Good heavens! Finally, someone has put these unscrupulous merchants in check!"

……

Inside the Epang Palace.

Ying Zheng listened to Cao Can's report and nodded in satisfaction.

"It seems that this 'Industry and Commerce Bureau' has been successfully established."

"Little G".

"Yes, Your Majesty."

"I've noticed that the deeper the industrialization, the more swindlers there are. In the past, swindling people was at most about shortchanging them; now, it's about using 'technology and ruthless skills' to cheat people."

Yes, Your Majesty. This is why a market economy needs regulation.

Without quality standards and strict enforcement, bad money will drive out good, and eventually everyone will resort to counterfeiting, turning the Qin Dynasty's projects into shoddy construction projects.

Ying Zheng rubbed his lower back—jumping rope seemed to really work; the kidney stone had just been expelled with his urine, and after a sharp pain, he felt much better.

"I will absolutely not allow the Great Qin to become a pile of tofu dregs."

"Pass down the order."

"Publish the case of this crackdown on counterfeit cement in the Daqin Daily. Print the name and portrait of that unscrupulous businessman."

"Establish a 'blacklist' system. Anyone caught for forgery will be barred from engaging in business, holding official positions, or enrolling in the Epang Palace University for three generations."

"I want them to know that trust is more valuable than gold."

At that moment, a cool autumn breeze blew into the hall.

Ying Zheng walked to the window and looked at the Qinling Mountains in the distance.

"The Lingqu Canal is almost open."

"The cement standards have also been set."

"Once this waterway is open, grains and timber from the south, as well as the rare treasures that Liu Bang tricked into coming back to Xianyang, can be transported back in a continuous stream."

"At that time..." A hint of anticipation flashed in Ying Zheng's eyes.

"I should also go and see that Xu Fu."

"I heard he's on that island, calling himself 'Emperor Jimmu'? Living quite comfortably?"

"I want to see if he can still be so arrogant when the steam warships of the Great Qin arrive at his doorstep."