My Imperial Advisor is ChatGPT

Chapter 53: The Romans' First "Sales Demonstration" and the First "Brand Defense

In early summer in Xianyang, the willow catkins have all fallen, and the locust blossoms are in full bloom.

On the official road leading to the Western Regions, a strange procession was slowly making its way westward. This procession had no imposing battle formations or bundles of weapons; instead, it was adorned with colorful flags fluttering and drums beating loudly, resembling a makeshift opera troupe performing in the countryside.

In the very center of the procession, two people sat in a specially modified open carriage.

The man on the left has a worried look on his face. He wears an oddly shaped, oversized silk robe, but his head is adorned with a wreath made of olive branches. His golden curly hair gleams in the sunlight, and his green eyes are filled with the confusion of "Who am I? Where am I?"

It was Marcus, the Roman centurion who was forcibly appointed by Ying Zheng as the "Ambassador of the Western Regions of Qin".

The man on the right, full of vigor, is waving a peacock fan in his hand and humming a folk song from Pei County. He is none other than Liu Bang, the president of the "Great Qin Western Regions Consumer Rights Protection Association".

"Brother Ma, give me a smile!" Liu Bang nudged Marcus with his elbow. "Don't look so gloomy. His Majesty said that your face is our Qin's 'international passport.' With your smile, those bumpkins in the Western Regions will think that our Qin is high-class, sophisticated, and classy."

Marcus twitched his lips, revealing a smile more like a grimace, and complained in heavily accented Qin dialect, "Lord Liu, I am a soldier, a Roman citizen. His Majesty made me hold this...this bar of soap and grin like an idiot at passersby. This is an insult to my honor."

"Honor?" Liu Bang scoffed, shoving a bar of "White Jade Fragrance" soap into Marcus's arms. "In Qin, making money is the greatest honor. Besides, didn't His Majesty promise? This time, he'll grant you the title of 'Honorary Baron of the County,' and even allocate you an apartment next to the Epang Palace. With an apartment, you'll have more leverage in that Roman Senate!"

Marcus sighed, forced to admit that the allure of the house was indeed greater than the honor. He held up the soap and stiffly waved to the crowd of onlookers on the roadside.

The crowd erupted in cheers: "Look! That's the golden-haired monkey from the west! I heard that using this soap will make you as white as him!"

At the rear of the procession, Xiang Yu, riding his steed Wu Ran, frowned in disgust at the commotion ahead. He was ordered to remove his imposing beast-head chainmail and put on a black, close-fitting outfit, with a long sword wrapped in cloth slung across his back, looking every bit the bodyguard leader.

"To send the mighty King of Western Chu to guard the soap shop..." Xiang Yu gritted his teeth, "Ying Zheng, I'll settle this score with you sooner or later."

……

Half a month later, in Kucha, a major town in the Western Regions.

This place was a hub on the northern route of the Silk Road, second only to Loulan in terms of prosperity. However, when Liu Bang's "anti-counterfeiting team" entered Kucha, they were greeted not with flowers and fine wine, but with rotten vegetables and rotten eggs.

"Liars! The people of Qin are all liars!"

"Give me my money back! Your silk caused me to get sores all over my body!"

"Your porcelain bowls shattered as soon as hot water was poured in! They blinded my son!"

On both sides of the street, angry Kucha people waved their fists. If it weren't for Xiang Yu leading eight hundred "black-clad bodyguards" to protect them with murderous intent, this group would probably have been devoured alive as soon as they entered the city.

Sitting in the carriage, Liu Bang wiped the rotten vegetable leaves off his face. Instead of being angry, his eyes gleamed.

"Looks like that brat Maodun is really ruthless," Liu Bang said, looking at the angry crowd around him. "He's ruining the reputation of our Great Qin to the core. This isn't just selling counterfeit goods; it's throwing excrement on our ancestral graves."

"Lord Liu, what should we do? This situation is getting out of control." Xiao He, the deputy (who had been specially granted permission to accompany Ying Zheng), said worriedly, "The King of Kucha is refusing to see anyone, which clearly means he is condoning these rioters."

Liu Bang sneered, stood up, and straightened his clothes.

"What's there to be afraid of? Chaos is good. The more chaotic it is, the more interesting our show will be."

He turned to look at Xiang Yu.

"Brother Xiang, can I borrow your voice?"

Xiang Yu glanced at him, gathered his strength in his dantian, and suddenly let out a roar:

"Shut up, all of you!!!"

The sound was like a bolt from the blue, causing the surrounding earthen walls to crumble and crumble. The previously noisy crowd fell silent instantly, everyone covering their ears in terror.

Taking advantage of the opportunity, Liu Bang jumped off the carriage, stood on a wooden box, and raised the large tin megaphone.

"Fellow citizens of Kucha! I am Liu Bang of the Great Qin! I know you have been wronged! I know you have bought counterfeit goods!"

"But! Every wrong has its perpetrator, and every debt its debtor! Those harmful things weren't made by our Great Qin, but by that shameless villain Maodun!"

"Words are no proof!" someone shouted from the crowd. "The items all bear the 'Made in Qin' mark!"

"Just because it's stamped doesn't mean it's real!" Liu Bang laughed heartily. "Then if I had the character 'King' carved on my forehead, would I be a tiger?"

He waved his hand.

"Today! Right here! I'm going to hold a 'Genuine vs. Fake Qin Goods Appreciation Conference'!"

"I'll show you with your own eyes what a fake is and what the real deal is!"

"Old Xiang! Set up the stage! Put out all the goods we brought, and the counterfeit goods we bought from the market!"

……

The central square of Kucha was quickly packed with people.

A tall platform rose from the ground. On the left were piles of inferior silk and porcelain collected from the common people, while on the right were genuine "royal special supplies" brought by Liu Bang.

Liu Bang stood in the middle, like a storyteller, holding a pointer in his hand.

"The first round! A silk competition!"

Liu Bang picked up a piece of fake silk and then a piece of real silk.

"Look closely, everyone! This thing Maodun made feels rough to the touch and smells sour. That's because he used poisonous dye!"

"Someone! Light the fire!"

Fan Kuai walked up, holding a torch.

Liu Bang held the fake silk up to the fire.

"call--"

A plume of black smoke rose, accompanied by a pungent, burnt plastic smell, and the fabric instantly solidified into hard, black lumps.

"Can you smell it? This is poison! How can you not get sores wearing this?"

Then, Liu Bang set the silk on fire.

The flame was weak, emitting only wisps of white smoke, and it smelled like burning hair. The ashes crumbled easily with a pinch, completely free of impurities.

"This is the real silk of the Qin Dynasty! It's silk spun by silkworms! It's protein!"

The onlookers were in an uproar. The contrast was too obvious; even a fool could see it.

"The second round! A porcelain contest!"

Liu Bang pointed to the fake bowl that was supposedly "blinding people's eyes".

"This thing wasn't even fully fired; it's just a mud brick coated with paint."

He looked at Xiang Yu, who had been standing by as a doorman.

"General Xiang, let's hear a sound."

Xiang Yu walked over expressionlessly, extended a finger, and lightly flicked the fake bowl.

"Snapped!"

The bowl shattered into pieces instantly, as if it were made of paper.

Then, Xiang Yu picked up a genuine Qin Dynasty blue-and-white porcelain bowl. He took a deep breath, gathered all his strength, and slammed it to the ground.

"when--!"

A clear and melodious metallic sound.

The bowl bounced twice on the ground, but it remained completely intact, still as clean and new as ever.

"Bravo!" Thunderous cheers erupted from the crowd.

"This is true Qin porcelain! It's hard enough to crack walnuts!"

Finally, the grand finale has arrived.

Liu Bang pushed a reluctant Marcus to the front of the stage.

"Everyone! Open your eyes wide and look carefully! Who is this?"

"He is an envoy from the far west, from the brother state of Great Qin—the Roman Empire! Lord Marcus!"

Marcus, steeling himself, loudly proclaimed in his broken Kucha language, following the lines Liu Bang had taught him:

"I... Marcus, a Roman. I only use... Qin soap! Qin silk! Qin... toilet paper!"

"Modu's stuff... garbage! No good!"

As he spoke, Marcus even made a contemptuous gesture in perfect coordination.

This "celebrity endorsement" tactic completely ignited the entire audience. Even that ghost-looking Roman said it was good, so it must be amazing!

"We want to buy the real thing!"

"Lord Liu! Sell it to us!"

"Down with the unscrupulous merchant Maodun!"

The crowd was outraged. What was originally hatred towards the Qin Dynasty instantly transformed into anger over counterfeit goods and a desire for genuine products.

Liu Bang watched this scene and smiled like a fox who had stolen a chicken. He knew that this battle was in the bag.

……

However, while the square was filled with jubilation, a gloomy atmosphere hung over the depths of the Kucha Palace.

King Bai Ba of Kucha was kneeling on the ground, trembling all over.

On the throne before him sat a man in black robes. The man wore a bronze mask, revealing only a pair of sinister eyes.

"waste."

The man in black robes coldly uttered two words.

"You were tasked with inciting a mob, and you just let them watch the show?"

"My lord, that Liu Bang is too cunning..." Bai Ba kowtowed repeatedly, "And that Xiang Yu... is too terrifying. My guards dare not approach him at all."

The man in the black robe stood up, walked to the window, and looked at the commotion in the distance.

"Liu Bang... Xiang Yu..."

"Ying Zheng was certainly willing to invest heavily."

He removed his mask, revealing a pale and distorted face.

It was Zhao Cheng, who had escaped death.

He was blown off a cliff in the Devil City, but miraculously survived by hanging from a dead tree. Instead, he was rescued by Maodun and given even greater power.

"If the soft approach doesn't work, then we'll try the hard approach."

Zhao Cheng pulled a black iron ball from his pocket; it was his latest improved version of the "Thunderclap 2.0".

"The Great Chanyu's iron cavalry is already on its way. But before that, I want to give Liu Bang a great gift."

Zhao Cheng handed the iron ball to Bai Ba.

"Deliver this to their inn tonight."

"Put it...in their manger."

"I want them to know that some fires cannot be extinguished."

……

In the stillness of the night, at the post station in Kucha City.

After counting today's deposit, Liu Bang happily prepared to go to sleep.

Xiang Yu, however, was still awake. He sat on the roof, clutching his sword, vigilantly watching the surroundings.

Years of battlefield experience told him that things weren't that simple. The King of Kucha was too quiet, as quiet as a coiled venomous snake.

Suddenly, the faint sound of horses' hooves caught his attention.

It wasn't on the street, but in the stables in the backyard of the post station.

anyone?

Xiang Yu flashed and darted towards the backyard like a ghost.

In the stable, a furtive groom was stuffing a dark object into a pile of hay.

"What are you doing?" Xiang Yu shouted in a low voice.

The coachman was so frightened that his hand trembled, and the black ball rolled to the ground.

"laugh--"

The fuse was ignited by friction, and sparks flew everywhere.

"Explosives?!"

Xiang Yu's pupils contracted sharply. He was all too familiar with this thing.

Without even having time to think, Xiang Yu kicked the about-to-explode iron ball away.

"Whoosh—"

The iron ball traced an arc, flew over the wall, and landed next door... in the barracks of the guards sent by the King of Kucha to monitor them.

"boom--!!!"

A deafening roar shook the earth.

The neighboring yard was instantly engulfed in flames, and screams echoed everywhere.

Liu Bang burst out of the house wearing only his underwear, sword in hand: "Exploded? Where did it explode? Did our goods explode?"

Xiang Yu jumped down from the roof and dusted off his boots.

"It's nothing. I just wanted to bring some warmth to my neighbor."

He glanced at the coachman who was paralyzed with fear, his eyes cold.

"It seems the King of Kucha has no desire to live."

……

Thousands of miles away, at Xianyang Palace.

Ying Zheng was in the midst of his evening "meditation".

But he couldn't calm down. His chest ached slightly, as if something was stuck there.

"Little G".

"Yes, Your Majesty."

"I feel... something is wrong."

"Not the body, but... the feeling."

Ying Zheng walked to the window and looked at the western night sky. There seemed to be a star there, which was becoming dim and indistinct.

[Your Majesty, according to the latest intelligence, Modu's expansion in the Western Regions is exceeding expectations.]

He seemed to have gained the support of a new force.

It's not just about technology, but also...resources.

"resource?"

Yes. The iron ore deposits in Ferghana are richer than we imagined. And they seem to have found a… harder metal.

Ying Zheng narrowed his eyes.

"A harder metal?"

"Could it be... steel?"

Just then, a secret agent from the Black Ice Bureau arrived at full speed, delivering a top-secret intelligence report.

"Your Majesty! Urgent report from the Western Regions!"

"Modu Chanyu created a new type of weapon in Dayuan."

"That sword... can cut through our ring-pommel swords!"

Ying Zheng took the intelligence report and looked at the diagrams drawn on it.

It was a curved sword. The blade was covered with strange, flowing patterns.

"This is……"

Damascus steel (Wootz steel).

[Your Majesty, this represents the pinnacle of ancient metallurgy. Originating in India, it was introduced to the Western Regions via Persia.]

This type of steel is extremely hard and has excellent toughness. If the entire Hunnic army were equipped with swords made of this...

Your Ironclad Cavalry might be in big trouble.

Ying Zheng's fingers tightened suddenly, crumpling the intelligence report into a ball.

"Wootz steel..."

"Excellent. I never expected that Maodun could give me such a surprise."

Ying Zheng turned around, his eyes showing no fear, only a surge of fighting spirit.

"Since our weapons are inferior, then...we'll upgrade our technology."

"Send orders to Zhao Gao, and to the Mohists."

"I don't care what methods they use, even if they have to pluck stars from the sky, they must find me something harder than this Wootz steel!"

"besides……"

Ying Zheng looked eastward, towards the direction where Xu Fu was.

"It seems I must quicken my pace."

"We must completely clear the way out to the east before the wolves pounce from the west."

In the darkness of night, the massive war machine of the Qin Dynasty roared once more.

This time, its goal is not just conquest, but... survival and transcendence.