My Imperial Advisor is ChatGPT

Chapter 54: The Roman Viceroy's "Salesmanship" Career, and the Qin Dynasty's Thu

In the Kingdom of Kucha in the Western Regions, the midday sun shone like molten copper onto the rammed earth city walls.

This place is a hub on the northern route of the Silk Road, and it is also a major disaster area where "counterfeit Qin goods" are rampant today. On both sides of the street, you can see stalls with signs that read "Authentic Xianyang" and "Royal Use", but what is displayed on them are burlap that can be torn at the slightest touch that is actually silk, and pottery bowls with crooked patterns that are actually porcelain.

A strange convoy slowly drove into the city gate.

Leading the procession was a brightly decorated open carriage, topped with a huge peacock feather canopy. Under the canopy sat two people with completely different styles.

The man on the left has blond hair and blue eyes, a high nose and deep-set eyes. He wears an extremely ill-fitting, oversized Qin-style robe, yet stubbornly tops his head with a wreath made of olive branches. He looks utterly hopeless, and is clutching a huge... bar of soap.

It was Marcus, a Roman centurion and now the "Ambassador of the Western Regions of Qin".

The man on the right, on the other hand, was full of vigor, waving a folding fan in his hand, his two meticulously trimmed mustaches curling slightly as the corners of his mouth turned up.

It was Liu Bang, the newly appointed "President of the Western Regions Consumer Rights Protection Association" of the Qin Dynasty.

"Brother Ma, perk up!" Liu Bang nudged Marcus with the handle of his folding fan. "This is the first shot in our Great Qin's 'brand protection war.' Don't let your eyes wander; look straight ahead and smile! Let these country bumpkins see what international style really is!"

Marcus's lips twitched, revealing a smile more like a grimace, as he muttered in Qin dialect mixed with a Roman accent, "Lord Liu, I am a warrior... Civis Romanus... I am a Roman citizen. To make me parade through the streets like a clown carrying this... this bar of grease (soap) is an insult to me."

"Insult my foot!" Liu Bang scoffed, lowering his voice. "Think about it, that's a house you own next to the Epang Palace, one you haven't even gotten your hands on yet. It's a 'school district house'! Your kids will be able to go to school with the nobles of Qin! What's wrong with selling a smile for a house? Back in the day, I even had to carry water for widows just to make a living."

The mention of the house instantly dissipated most of the humiliation in Marcus's eyes. He took a deep breath, straightened his chest, raised the soap in his hand, and gave the Kucha people pointing and whispering on the roadside a standard professional fake smile.

"Hi! Great Qin... Great! The soap... smells good!"

The surrounding residents immediately erupted in uproar.

"Look! That guy who looks like a white devil is talking!"

"Those are the legendary Romans? I heard they lived on gold everywhere, even their toilets were made of gold!"

"What's that he's holding? Why is it so white?"

At the rear of the procession, Xiang Yu, riding his steed Wu Ran, frowned in disgust at the commotion ahead. He wore no armor, only a black, close-fitting outfit, with a long sword slung across his back, and his face screamed, "I want to kill someone."

"Brother, are we really going to follow that scoundrel Liu Bang to... sell goods?" Long Qie beside him said somewhat aggrievedly.

"This is called 'Guardianship'." Xiang Yu snorted coldly, his sharp gaze sweeping across the surroundings. "His Majesty said the waters of the Western Regions are very murky. That brat Maodun has planted many spies here. Our task is to pull out these spies."

……

The square in front of the Kucha Royal Palace was now completely packed with people.

Liu Bang had a high platform built, which was filled with counterfeit goods collected from the market, as well as the "genuine" goods he brought.

"Fellow citizens of Kucha!"

Liu Bang stood on the stage, holding the large tin megaphone in his hand, and began his performance, focusing his energy in his dantian.

"I am Liu Bang of the Great Qin Dynasty! I'm here today for two things: First, fairness! Second, damn it, fairness!"

"I know you're all angry! You bought silk and wore it, which caused sores on your bodies; you bought porcelain bowls and poured hot water into them, which shattered! You curse the Qin Dynasty for being heartless and the Qin Emperor for being tyrannical!"

"But!" Liu Bang's tone shifted abruptly, pointing indignantly to the pile of counterfeit goods on the left, "This garbage wasn't made by our Great Qin at all! It was forged by that despicable Xiongnu leader, Modu, with a bunch of lousy craftsmen!"

The audience erupted in uproar.

"Words are no proof! They're all stamped with the seal of the Qin Dynasty!" someone shouted.

"Does a stamp make it real?" Liu Bang sneered. "Then if I carve the character 'King' on my forehead, I'll be a tiger?"

He waved his hand.

"Today, I'll show you what it truly means to be 'true gold fears no fire'!"

"Fan Kuai! Bring the brazier!"

Fan Kuai, shirtless, walked onto the stage carrying a blazing brazier.

Liu Bang picked up a piece of fake silk and then a piece of real silk that he had brought from Xianyang.

"Look closely, everyone! This is fake silk made by Maodun. It feels rough to the touch and smells sour. It's made with inferior dyes and rotten hemp!"

He held the fake silk close to the fire.

"call--"

A plume of black smoke rose, accompanied by a pungent, acrid smell, and the fabric quickly curled into a hard, black lump.

"Can you smell it? This is poison! Wearing clothes like this, it's no wonder your skin will rot!"

Then he brought the silk close to the flame.

The flames licked at the embers, producing no black smoke, only a faint smell of burning hair. The ash crumbled easily with a pinch, completely free of impurities.

"This is silk! It's protein! It's the essence excreted by insects!"

The audience was stunned. The contrast was so stark; even a fool could see the difference.

"Now look at the porcelain!"

Liu Bang pointed to the fake bowl that was supposedly "blinding people's eyes".

"General Xiang!" Liu Bang called out.

Xiang Yu walked onto the stage expressionlessly, extended a finger, and lightly flicked the fake bowl.

"Snapped!"

The bowl crumbled into pieces instantly, just like a crispy biscuit.

"Listen to that sound! It's like a broken tile," Liu Bang mocked.

Then, Xiang Yu picked up a genuine Qin Dynasty blue-and-white porcelain bowl. He took a deep breath, gathered all his strength, and slammed it hard onto the stone-paved ground.

"when--!"

A clear and melodious metallic sound echoed across the square.

The bowl bounced twice on the ground, but remained completely intact, even reflecting the luster of its glaze in the sunlight.

The entire hall fell silent, then erupted in thunderous applause.

"Excellent! This is truly a divine object!"

"We want the real thing! Sir Liu, how much is the real thing?"

Liu Bang smiled like a fox who had stolen a chicken.

"Not expensive at all! Although it's a little more expensive than counterfeit goods, the quality is guaranteed! And..."

He shoved Marcus to the front of the stage.

"We also have the certification of the Roman royal family... oh no, the Roman Senate!"

Marcus, steeling himself, raised his thumb and shouted in broken Kucha language, "Made in Qin... Good! Made in Maodun... Shit!"

……

Just as the atmosphere in the square was lively and Liu Bang's business was booming, several pairs of cold eyes were staring intently at the stage from the crowd.

They were several men dressed in local clothing, but with fierce eyes. Their waists were bulging with things hidden inside.

"Brother, shall we make a move?" a man asked in a low voice.

"Don't rush." ​​The leader was a one-eyed man, the head of Maodun's hidden agents. "That big guy is not to be trifled with. Wait until they disperse and Liu Bang is alone..."

Before he could finish speaking, he suddenly felt a chill on his neck.

A large, cold hand had somehow landed on his shoulder.

"Trying to wait until I'm alone?"

A lazy voice sounded in his ear.

The one-eyed man froze, slowly turning his head. He saw that Liu Bang had somehow gotten off the platform and was smiling at him, holding a handful of freshly peeled sugarcane in his hand.

"You...you..."

"Don't use 'you' and 'me'," Liu Bang said, taking a bite of sugarcane. "You lot, I can smell that muttony odor on you from two miles away."

"Guys! Let's get to work!"

At Liu Bang's command, the dozens of employees of "Da Qin Security Company" who had been watching the commotion in the crowd suddenly sprang into action.

"Pfft! Pfft! Pfft!"

A series of muffled thuds rang out.

Before the spies could even draw their knives, they were knocked to the ground, their mouths stuffed with smelly socks, and they were tied up.

Xiang Yu stood on the platform, arms crossed, coldly watching everything unfold.

"A bunch of scum."

……

Meanwhile, in Xianyang, thousands of miles away.

Inside the chemistry institute of the Epang Palace, the atmosphere was even more tense than in the Western Regions.

Ying Zheng, wearing a mask, was looking at a pile of grayish-white powder with a troubled expression.

This is one of the "local specialties of the Western Regions" that Zhang Qian and Liu Bang brought back—volcanic ash. Although the quantity is small, only a few jars, according to Marcus, this is the secret to the Roman buildings standing for thousands of years.

"Little G," Ying Zheng asked in his mind, "Does our Qin Dynasty really not have this thing?"

[Your Majesty, natural volcanic ash is indeed scarce in the heart of Qin.]

However, you don't necessarily have to look for a volcano.

Volcanic ash is essentially silicates and aluminates that have been calcined at high temperatures.

Although you don't have a volcano, you do have... a blast furnace.

Ying Zheng was taken aback: "A blast furnace?"

Yes. Blast furnace slag from iron smelting, and fly ash from coal burning.

These substances, after being water-quenched, have a chemical composition and reactivity highly similar to volcanic ash.

This is called "artificial volcanic ash."

Grind it into a fine powder, mix it with lime and gypsum, and you have "slag silicate cement".

This type of cement has excellent water resistance, making it ideal for building irrigation canals, shipyards, and even... constructing a basement for the Epang Palace.

Ying Zheng glanced at the pile of iron smelting slag that was about to be dumped beside him, a glint of light flashing in his eyes.

"Turning waste into treasure?"

"Zhao Gao!"

Zhao Gao was squatting on the ground studying how to flavor the toothpaste (he added some honey, which attracted a bunch of ants) when he heard the shout and quickly ran over.

"Your Majesty, this servant is here."

"Stop playing with your ants." Ying Zheng pointed to the pile of rubble. "Collect all this stuff for me."

"Splash it with cold water to shock it! Then grind it into powder and mix it into the cement."

"I want to create a kind of stone... that can harden in water."

Zhao Gao looked at the pile of black slag, and although he had some doubts, he still obediently wrote it down.

"Your Majesty, I obey. But Your Majesty... this slag is easy to get, but... that 'public bath' the Romans mentioned, shouldn't we also build one?"

"A bathhouse?" Ying Zheng raised an eyebrow.

"Yes," Zhao Gao said with a fawning smile. "Marcus said that the Romans' greatest hobby was bathing. Now that we have running water, boilers, and soap, wouldn't it be a waste not to build a large bathhouse?"

Ying Zheng thought for a moment.

"Granted."

"However, don't build it in the Roman style. Build it in the Qin style for me."

"It needs to be big. It needs to be able to accommodate a thousand people bathing at the same time. And it also needs... bathhouse attendants."

"I want the people of Xianyang to be able to wash away the coal dust and live clean lives."

……

Western Regions, Kucha City.

After the anti-counterfeiting scandal, the prestige of the Qin Dynasty reached its peak. To show his sincerity, King Bai Ba of Kucha held a grand banquet.

At the banquet, glasses clinked and toasts were exchanged.

But Xiang Yu kept staring at a display shelf in the center of the hall.

There was a knife there.

A curved sword, considered a national treasure by the King of Kucha. Its blade is covered with strange, flowing patterns, gleaming with a chilling light under the lamplight.

"This is... Wootz steel?" Xiang Yu muttered to himself.

He could sense a power within the knife that he had never seen before. It wasn't hardness built up by thickness, but a resilience that emanated from the material itself.

"General Xiang has a good eye." The King of Kucha noticed Xiang Yu's gaze and proudly introduced, "This is a 'Damask sword,' forged by Persian craftsmen from celestial iron. It can cut through iron like mud and sever a hair with a breath."

"Oh?" Xiang Yu stood up and walked over.

"Can I give it a try?"

The King of Kucha hesitated for a moment, but looking at Xiang Yu's large, fan-like hand, he dared not refuse: "Of course... of course you can."

Xiang Yu lifted the curved sword with one hand.

Light. Much lighter than his Overlord Blade.

He casually grabbed a metal skewer used for grilling meat from the side.

"Watch closely."

Xiang Yu flicked his wrist.

"brush!"

A flash of cold light.

There wasn't much noise; the metal skewer was cleanly severed, just like a noodle. The cut was as smooth as a mirror.

The blade of that scimitar didn't even have a rolled edge.

Xiang Yu's pupils suddenly contracted.

His own knife, though heavy and powerful, would definitely have chipped if it had been used in the same way just now.

"A fine knife."

Xiang Yu sighed in admiration, but a deep sense of crisis welled up in his eyes.

If each of Maodun's cavalrymen carried a knife like this...

The leather armor of the Qin Dynasty, and even the chainmail of the Iron Pagoda, would be as easy as paper in front of it.

"How was this knife forged?" Xiang Yu turned to ask the King of Kucha.

The King of Kucha shook his head: "I don't know about that. It was bought from Parthia, and the craftsmanship is said to be top secret."

Xiang Yu put down his sword and returned to his seat.

He stopped drinking.

He pulled out a whetstone from his pocket, a diamond whetstone he had smuggled from the Imperial Household Department.

He began to silently sharpen the Qin sword at his waist.

"Sizzle—sizzle—"

The harsh sound of sharpening knives seemed particularly jarring amidst the joyous revelry.

Liu Bang leaned closer and lowered his voice: "Old Xiang, what's wrong? Did something upset you?"

Xiang Yu looked up at Liu Bang.

"Liu Ji, we need to take something back with us."

"What?"

"Iron." Xiang Yu pointed to the curved sword. "This kind of patterned iron. No matter how it was forged, I have to take it back to Zhao Gao to see."

"If the Qin Dynasty can't forge a blade harder than this..."

A cold glint flashed in Xiang Yu's eyes.

"Then we might suffer a great loss the next time we meet Maodun."

Liu Bang looked at the gleaming Wootz steel knife, and the smile on his face disappeared.

"OK."

"Buy it! I'll buy it no matter the price!"

"Not only will I buy a knife, but I'll also buy that... blacksmith. I refuse to believe that money can't pry open a mouth."

……

Late at night.

Xiang Yu lay on his bed in the inn, tossing and turning.

All I could see in my mind was the image of that curved knife cutting through the iron skewer.

"Wootz steel..."

"Hardness...toughness..."

Although he didn't understand chemistry, his intuition as a warrior told him that a revolution concerning "steel" was about to unfold between the Qin Dynasty and the Western Regions.

Meanwhile, in Xianyang, the blast furnaces of the Imperial Workshop were still roaring day and night.

Ying Zheng stood in front of the blast furnace, looking at the boiling molten iron, and suddenly sneezed.

"Achoo!"

"Who's talking about me?"

He rubbed his nose.

"Little G, I have a feeling something's not right in the west."

Your Majesty, your intuition is very accurate.

Historically (though you've distorted it beyond recognition), breakthroughs in metallurgical technology have often been a harbinger of escalating war.

You may need to prepare for... the ultimate showdown of the era of cold weapons.

Ying Zheng looked at the crimson molten iron and a cold smile curled at the corner of his mouth.

"A showdown of titans?"

"OK."

"Let's see if their 'patterned steel' is harder, or my 'industrial steel' is more powerful."

"Order Zhao Gao to increase the temperature of that 'coke steelmaking' furnace!"